Melinda is voted off tonight. I forgot to plug in my cable box for the computer, so we’ll have no images. Here’s what happened tonight:
The old men were getting soaked in the lightning and rain after last week’s Tribal Council. The older women had no clue how to start a fire after losing Tina. The young women enjoyed papaya so much that Misty said it was “orgasmically good”. Can you say that on TV?
Shane basically whined about missing people back home and how much he hated being out there. It was boring. It was so hard to do nothing. Poor baby. I wish I had a chance to lay on a tropical beach with nothing to do for a while.
New Tribes - I was surprised last week by how many readers sent me email and were upset because they called them “older” women or men. What do you want them to be called, “Youth Impaired”? This time it was a school yard pick. They all had to go stand on discs, divided men and women. Under one disc for each group was a buff and that person was the first pick. Men had to pick women and women had to pick men. The order picked for each team is:
La Mina Wearing orange buffs
- Terry Deitz - OM
- Sally Schumann - YW
- Austin Carty - YM
- Misty Giles - YW
- Nick Stanbury - YM
- Ruth Marie Milliman - OW
- Dan Barry - OM
Cassaya Wearing purple buffs
- Danielle DiLorenzo - YW
- Shane Powers - OM
- Courtney Marit - YW
- Aras Baskauskas - YM
- Cirie Fields - OW
- Bobby Mason - YM
- Melinda Hyder - OW
Bruce was left standing. He was sent to Exile Island and would remain there for 3 days, until AFTER the Tribal Council, where he gets to sit in and listen while they vote. He essentially got immunity for the next round. He would replace who ever gets voted off at Tribal Council.
Reward Challenge - This is a race over an obstacle course where each team has to go through each stage before they can go to the next stage. Along the way, they pick up 6 wooden snakes and one person has to carry them all. The first tribe to get all 6 snakes wins. La Mina wins and gets a reward of fishing gear and a raft. I was expecting a cool rubber raft, but it’s only a lashed together bunch of bamboo with paddles.
Shane decides to be happy now that he’s on a new team. Cirie and Melinda are feeling the pressure of being “youth impaired” on the Cassaya tribe. Melinda’s quote: “We’re screwed”.
…And indeed they are. Shane, Aras, Courtney, and Danielle immediately strike up a deal to be friends for life. Those hip, young, cool kids stick together.
Dan is also happy on La Mina. He and Terry are on the same tribe now and have sworn a bond for life. Terry makes an all male alliance with Dan, Austin and Nick and they all shake hands. But, wait, what do we have here? Misty and Aras want Austin and Nick to be in an alliance also. Austin and Nick are in the middle. Oh, the drama!
Clues - Bruce gets Tree Mail with a second clue to the hidden Immunity Idol. The first clue is now written out and we can see that the word “Why” is in parentheses twice in the clue. The clue is: You will have a lot of time to think about “why” fate chose you to be the 1st one out here, which is also “why” immunity is already so important. As for the clue to the immunity idol, I’ve already given it to you. On the back of the clue sheet is a map of the island with the middle marked red and the words “It’s not located here”. Bruce proceeds to practice Karate and sleep in the rain. We don’t see anything else of Bruce for 3 days.
Day 6 - Sally and Nick go out fishing for La Mina and Sally immediately loses the spear into deep water. She dives, but can’t find it. They have no fish. Everyone tells her it’s OK, as they plot her death.
Immunity Challenge - “How are things?” Jeff asks. Misty says they are great and Shane says that he’s not going to lie, it’s terrible. “We’re dire” and goes on to whine some more. He’s the new Stephanie when it comes to whining about things.
The challenge is to take a zombie head in a boat, out in the water, to shore and place it on the zombie body. These challenge designers have been spending way too much time watching DVDs in remote jungles or something. Where do they come up with this stuff?
Anyway, the boats are anchored to heavy chests at the bottom of the water and they have to dive down and drag the chests. Blah, blah, people jumping in water, blah, blah. La Mina totally wins. Cassaya is so bad at this that it’s not even close. Losers.
So now, Shane is bummed again. So he whines about it. “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life.” he tells us. He tells his tribe “I want you guys to vote me off.” This shocks everyone except Melinda and Cirie, who see their chance. “This is the worst thing that ever happened to me in my whole life”. Boo hoo, Shane. Boo freaking hoo.
Aras talks Shane into staying. He’ll “try it” he says. That’s my big boy! Here, let me give you a hankie.
Aras, the master of tact and interpersonal skills, goes into camp and tells everyone that Shane will stay and that he wants to be honest, so “It’s down to physical strength, so it will be either Melinda or Cirie that goes home tonight.” Shane gets up and says the same thing. The girls are freaked out because you don’t tell people that they are not part of the alliance. They know you sneak up behind them. Shane once more is an idiot.
Tribal Council - Shane whines about how bad everything is, but he wants to stay even though “It’s the worst thing to ever happen to me in my life.” Shane! We heard you the first 5 times you told us that. Melinda and Cirie are hurt and mad and cry. They vote 4 to 2 and Melinda goes home. Sorry, dude.
Next week, Shane complains some more and I think people get to sleep in the rain again.
Who is more annoying, Shane or Stephanie? Tell us in the forum!